I fell in love hard with Westworld. Like Reddit lurking, deep theory fantasizing, pulling screenshots and timeline logic and who is what and when. I also love robots and the idea that robots could be among us. I’m sure if I were a robot, I would be the kind that was programmed with Your Baby Can Read level of language only one DVD was missing so I never got the hang of my l’s and w’s and I just wuuuvv everyone. Which is kind of cute if I were a kid robot, a Small Wonder model, and not a grown woman at the drive-thru of Taco Time trying to order an extra large burrito.
I found this picture hanging in the Great Wolf Lodge fitness room when I worked out at 5 in the morning. I only worked out because I am an early riser and I get bored on family vacations when I’m the only one awake. I liked this robot lady and how committed she is to this machine, programmed to pedal despite having no skin and yet being forced to wear the white orthopedic shoes you’ll find on nuns. Do you really need shoes if you have no skin? This robot’s hair is voluminous and she will never sweat though her heart range is always in the “very hard” zone. Her motors whir below the exposed rivets of muscle. If I worked out next to her, I would wonder if she was really real or if I was just out of shape and that’s the reason why I could barely breathe her exhales hang in the air like an opera trailing off. Then I would roll my eyes because I’m sure she is also programmed to do very human things, like take a phone call and act like everyone needs to hear her talk about her robot boyfriend who hasn’t been coded to satisfy her emotionally yet.
I also found the Christmas Mass on TV, something my mother would have liked. I’m sure she would have appreciated that I was moving my body, to make my body take up less space while observing the holiest of occasions. If my mom were next to me, she would have added suggestions that would make me lose weight faster. “Just lift up your arms!” like raising my hands to the sky would make me not have to wear a top spanx. And bottom spanx. I would continue my steps to the sound of her voice, the one that begins a sentence with “You have such white legs,” and ends with, “You could have been a lawyer!” And that would be enough for me to press the buttons until I was running faster so the only sound in the room was the loud motor controlling me like I was programmed to do.